ter 90
Chapter 90
Lila
The wind shifted across the training courtyard, cool and clean, carrying the scent of crushed grass and something sharp beneath it–metal, san tension. I stood beneath the colonnade, half hidden in shadow, watching Damon move.
He wasn’t sparring. Not really. Just going through the motions with Ronan, blade arcing through the air in tight, practiced sweeps, Efficient. Detached, Mechanical.
And when he paused to wipe his brow, his eyes–those usually unreadable, storm–dark eyes–lifted and found mine.
Only for a moment. Long enough to land. Long enough to ache.
He didn’t smile. Didn’t frown, either. Just… looked. Like I was a puzzle he hadn’t quite solved.
Then he turned back to Ronan and gave a short nod. The match resumed, but I was already walking away, pulse ringing in my ears.
I told myself not to take it personally. Maybe he was tired. Maybe the King had more important things to do than hold the hand of a girl with too many secrets and not enough status. Maybe I was imagining things.
But deep down, I knew that wasn’t true.
Damon’s affection hadn’t disappeared–it had just… dulled. Shifts
something heavier now. Softer. Hesitant.
Not desire. Duty.
There was still warmth in his voice when he spoke to me, but it came wrapped in
The worst part was how familiar it felt. That creeping sensation that you were being looked at but not seen. The way a father stared past you at someor else’s future. The way a court watched you like a placeholder for whatever Luna rose.
I chewed the inside of my cheek as I walked the garden paths. The palace bustled around rehearsing their flattery. If I stopped moving, I might start unraveling.
me,
but it all passed in a blur–maids gossiping, candidates
I wanted to scream. I reached my room and stood in front of the mirror without really seeing myself. My reflection looked calm. Poised. Tired.
And behind my ribs, Ruby stirred uneasily.
You feel it too, I whispered inside.
She didn’t respond with words–just the low, slow press of her presence, wrapped in the same brittle silence that had been growing between Damon me the last couple of days.
J curled my fingers into the vanity’s edge and leaned forward until my breath fogged the glass.
“Who do you see when you look at me?” I murmured to the empty room. “Is it me, or is it someone else?”
A knock would’ve broken the moment. A voice in the hallway. Anything. But nothing came.
Just the ache and the quiet and the memory of Asher’s voice, again, smooth and cruel: substitute.
I straightened and turned sharply. No. If I didn’t ask, the doubt would eat me alive. I didn’t need grand gestures. I didn’t need another kiss under moonlight. I just needed a damn answer.
My steps were quick, deliberate, boots striking against tile like drumbeats. I passed the western archway and spotted Damon immediately—alone, leaning against the far side of the corridor, just beneath the slant of a tall window that bathed him in golden light.
His head was bowed slightly, one hand braced on the wall, the other hanging loose at his side. He looked like a man in retreat, armor cracked, but st
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standing.
I didn’t hesitate, I crossed the space between us, my heart hudding like a second set of footsteps behind mine.
He turned just as I stopped. 1 looked him in the eyes, and asked the only thing I could.
“Why are you looking at me like I’m someone else?”
Damon seemed to be struck speechless for the first time. The silence between us stretched, taut and aching, as if he was trying to decide whether to speak at all.
The corridor was empty now, filled only with the sound of distant wind curling through the upper windows. The light had shifted–gold slipping into pay His eyes finally met mine. “Because I’ve been looking at you like someone I’m afraid to lose.”
1 blinked. “That’s not what I asked.”
“I know.” He exhaled slowly, like every word he was about to say cost him something. “It’s not about who you remind me of it’s about what you’ve re to mean.”
That should have comforted me. But it didn’t–not entirely.
He stepped forward, his voice quieter. “You walked into this palace under false pretenses. So did I, in a way. I told myself I was here to find a Luna who could endure this place, this position. Someone the Court could respect. Someone safe.”
I stared at him, my throat dry. “And I’m not safe.”
“No,” he said, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. “You’re not. You challenge me. You see things I don’t say. You make me want to protect and destroy in the same breath. That’s not safe. That’s… dangerous.”
My hands curled at my sides. “Then why does it feel like you’re waiting to wake
He flinched–just a flicker, but it was enough.
up from something?”
“That’s the part I’m still working through,” he admitted. “Because I’ve done this before. And then watched it all fall apart.” He shook his head, voice low. “I didn’t know if what I was feeling for you was just another illusion.”
I stared at him. That word–illusion–hit something tender.
“So you thought I wasn’t real?” I asked, quieter now. “You’ve kissed me. Held me. Defended and chosen me. But you still questioned if any of it meant anything?”
His gaze dropped, guilt settling into the corners of his posture. “Not because of you. Because of who I was before you.”
4took a breath, trying to keep the pieces of myself from slipping out of reach.
“You’re the Lycan King,” I said. “You could have any woman in the Court. You could have dismissed me quietly, erased me from the record. So why didn
you?”
He looked at me then, sharp and steady. “Because I don’t want to.”
“That’s not enough.”
He stepped forward again, and this time, his voice lost all its armor. “Because I see you, Lila. And I still want you here with me. I have to finish this selection because of tradition but make no mistake who I will choose.”
He said my name. Where others might hear
I froze, my breath catching in my throat. The world stopped spinning for a beat. I hadn’t realized how much I needed to hear it–needed him to say it.
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Chapter 90
His nod was slow. “You’re my mate and I marked you without you being able to reciprocate. I just… don’t want to force this. And I still have some things to work through.”
1 sat, suddenly unsteady, the stone bench beneath me a quiet relief. Damon followed, lowering himself beside me but not touching. The space between us hummed with everything we couldn’t say.
“So now what?” I asked, barely above a breath.
“I keep choosing you,” he said. “Even when it’s hard. Even if it breaks every rule I’ve been told to follow.”
It wasn’t a promise. But it was honest. And it was more than I had given him for most of my time here.
We sat in silence, our shoulders nearly touching. I didn’t lean in. Neither did he. There was no kiss. No perfect ending. Just the hard–won truth, finally. between two people desperately trying to believe one another.
And for the first time in days, I believed it might be enough.
