Chapter 10
I turned to Frederick Austin and asked gently, “Do you think you can get out of bed? I can help you if you need.”
From the doorway, Jasper Green interjected, “Dr. Main said he needs bed rest. Let him stay put.” “I’ve asked the housekeeper to bring up his breakfast. He can eat in here,” Jasper added. As he spoke, the housekeeper entered, balancing a tray, and set up a small table over the bed for Frederick.
Frederick gave me a kind look. “I’ll be fine on my own. You go on ahead.”
From the doorway, Jasper scoffed, “Why wouldn’t he be? It’s not like he’s missing any limbs. Or do you plan on spoon–feeding him too?”
He always had a way of making everything sound unpleasant.
I headed downstairs. Jasper followed with breakfast in hand.
Sophia Carter and Dr. Main were nowhere to be seen–probably already finished eating.
Back when our parents were alive, Jasper and I used to come home from school together, and he’d often cook for me. I was a picky eater back then, and he always knew exactly what I liked.
But after our parents passed, I never tasted his cooking again. Work at the company never seemed to end, and Jasper resented me. Eventually, he stopped wanting to share meals with me at all.
I sat at the dining table, quietly working through my eggs and toast, a mug of warm soy milk by my hand.
The eggs were perfectly golden on both sides.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Jasper had a soft–boiled egg in front of him.
I’ve always been allergic to dairy, and I can’t stand eggs that are runny.
We’ve fought so much over the years, but somehow he never forgot these little details.
The grand dining room was silent as a tomb.
It struck me, suddenly–the person who used to be my closest confidant now sat just a few feet away, but all that remained was this awkward, suffocating discomfort.
We sat so close, eating together, and I had no idea what to say to him.
So I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “The eggs are a little burnt.”
Jasper let out a disgruntled “Oh,” barely glancing at me. “Didn’t you always like them a bit crispy?”
He stood up and snatched my plate away. “It’s freezing, the roads are still closed, and you’re
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lucky to have something hot to eat. Stop being so picky.”
He disappeared into the kitchen, and I heard the stove being lit again.
A few minutes later, he came back with a fresh plate of eggs, setting them in front of me without so much as a glance.
“This is the last time. Complain again and you can cook your own damn breakfast.”
Suddenly, my throat felt tight.
I ducked my head and kept eating.
Jasper’s voice was sharp. “You can drop the act now.”
‘The sun’s out today. They’re saying the roads will open this afternoon. Finish your breakfast and get ready to come home with me.”
It felt like I had a lump of cotton stuck in my throat. For a moment, I almost said yes.
In the end, it’s just the two of us left in this world–my only family.
Before I could speak, Jasper glanced upstairs, his voice turning cold and bitter.
‘That guy’s got plenty of money. Don’t get involved with him again. Let him hire his own people. Let him handle his own problems. Don’t meddle with people who have ulterior motives…”
So this was why he wanted me down here–not just for breakfast. The real condition for taking me home was that I leave Frederick Austin behind.
Swallowing became suddenly difficult.
set my fork down, not too hard, not too soft, and looked at Jasper sitting beside me.
And what makes you so sure he has ulterior motives?”
Jasper’s face, which had briefly softened, darkened again.
‘Don’t tell me you’re still defending him. You trekked all the way out here for a stranger, trudged through snow for hours just to find a doctor for him.”
His anger started to rise.
‘Look at yourself. Do you even know what you look like right now? When Mom and Dad died, did you ever care this much?”
The old wound in my heart–the one that’s been festering for seven years–felt like it was being twisted all over again.
I shot up from my chair, a bitter laugh escaping me.
Finally, the dam broke. I couldn’t pretend anymore.
“What do I look like to you now?”
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“Jasper Green, you’re the one who told me he was my brother. You told me to stop bothering
you, to go with him instead. Isn’t this what you wanted? What do you want me to be? What do you want him to be?”
Hadn’t I done exactly as he wished?
Jasper’s lips trembled, and for an instant, there was something guilty in his eyes before it surged into anger.
“So you’ve been pretending all along!”
I didn’t flinch, meeting his gaze head–on.
“Yes, I was pretending. But you were the one who told me to leave. For seven years, you hated me living in the Green family house–now that I’m leaving, you’re still not satisfied.”
“Seven years ago, I fought with Mom and Dad and stayed home. I couldn’t have predicted the earthquake. They died because of me, and I’ve suffered more than anyone.”
“So what do you want from me, Jasper? What more do you want?”
Seven years now, and every night I relive that day in my dreams.
That recording–I fear it more than anything, but I still play it over and over, torturing myself in the middle of the night.
Every time I close my eyes, I see my parents covered in blood.
I’m terrified of the dark and small spaces. I sleep with the lights on, yet I’m awake all night. Nerves shot, emotions shattered.
If dying could atone for my sins, I’d welcome it in my dreams.
But my life was the one thing they saved–at the cost of their own.
I’ve tried, so many times, and every time I lose my nerve at the last second.
Living, I can’t forgive myself. Dying, I’d be letting them down even more.
It’s a living hell, but I can’t die.
I’ve wandered countless times through dark alleys, half–hoping some desperate stranger would appear and take me out.
I looked at Jasper, eyes burning red.
“Why don’t you tell me, Jasper? What do you want from me? Or better yet, why don’t you just kill me yourself?”
Jasper stared at me as if I were a stranger–someone he could no longer recognize.
For a split second, I saw something flicker in his eyes–a look I remembered from years ago. when he used to care for me. The same look he’d have when I got hurt, when he didn’t know what to do except try to comfort me.
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But that Jasper was long gone.
Whatever I thought I saw vanished almost instantly, probably just my imagination.
His voice was cold and cruel. “Kill you? Claire Green, would our parents come back if you died? Someone as selfish as you–someone who got their parents killed–deserves to live in pain forever!”
It felt like someone had carved a hole in my chest, the taste of blood and iron thick in my
mouth.
After a long, long moment, I managed to steady myself and nod.
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