I Do What I Want
Thane
So, little wolf wants a job. I am proud of her for attempting this feat. A huge mountain to her. Do I want her working? No. I also don’t think it is a good idea to put herself around that many shifters yet, but I want her to feel worthy. Increase her self–esteem, self–worth. I reluctantly sign off on the document. Fighting my urge to rush to her rooms and declare I will take care of her. I turn it over and head to the other stack to review. Never ending cycle with a pack this large. I approve agendas, new upgrades to the birthing cabins, preparations for celebrations. A welcomed knock on the door offers some reprieve from wanting to claw out my eyeballs.
Good afternoon alpha Thane. I have the files you requested on the Triad Group. Looks like they have a new business opened across state lines. They have an agreement with the Clearwater Pack, I am not sure you will like what you find in there.‘ Damon says as he throws a mega file on top of my desk. Great. I start perusing the documents and photos. “These idiots opened a brothel. Are you serious?” Well, I think they are passing it off as a hotel/food establishment, but it is clearly more than that by those photos.” “Yes, Damon I can see that. Was including photos of blow jobs necessary?” “Just trying to be thorough alpha. My apologies.” “Keep a team on them. I want a small group to go in and start talking to these women. Make sure they are there on their own free will. Check for pack marks. If any of ours are.there, I want you to make DAMN sure they want to work there.” “Yes alpha. “Keep following Kian. If this is the type of businesses, he is involved in I want proof.” “Yes alpha.”
If this asshat thinks he can get Ayla working in one of these establishments I will skin him alive. Mate or not. The disease running through the shifter world that alphas can do whatever they want to the women in their packs needs to be eradicated. If these women choose to work there, fine. If they are held there, then we have a problem. I have not been notified that we have any missing pack members, and nobody has turned in any pack transfer requests, so I am leaning to the side of willingness on their part, but not little wolf. Never little wolf.
Cyrus, how is the forensic analysis of the hard drives coming along? Are we any closer to a paper trail? I send via mind–link. Would I min–link Ayla? Would ! consider her close circle? I should probably follow up on her stance on being a pack member. At this point, she might as well. Unless her wanting to get a job is to get enough saved to run. She better not. Little wolf would regret that. I would make sure of it. Mate or not. Alissa is close to uncovering an account. All of the transfers we found from the alphas happened internally in the building we raided. It appears as though they didn’t get the ability to wipe everything out when we raided. I quickly mind–link back Good. Keep me in the loop.
Every raid we have done, every computer has been wiped clean. Like they knew we were coming, or they didn’t do anything in house. These shifters now, either royally screwed up accepting payments through their system or they didn’t know we were coming. I would hate to think we would have a mole in our ranks, but it can happen. I will need to analyze what is different this time around. We took the usual people. All of our meetings were held the same. Same planning strategies.
I work until late in the evening hours. Reviewing this and finishing that. I grab the bottle of bourbon in my bottom drawer. Am I drinking too much? Probably, but tomorrow is the 6th year anniversary of my parent’s murder, suicide and I would really like to think about something else. Maybe I can get drunk enough to think of a way to force Ayla to accept her wolf so I can find out once and for all if I can murder Kian or not. Maybe I get drunk and do it for fun. Who knows. The night is young.
I make my way back to the rooms, unbutton my shirt and flop my ass on the couch. The more I drink, the more I find myself staring at our adjoining door. Little wolf could be right on the other side of that door. I wonder if the douche bag is over there. I should probably get a handle on this frustration. If he is her mate, it is underserved on his part. I am also the alpha and don’t give a shit. Maybe Cyrus is right. Maybe I am getting more dickhead–ish this week. I should probably send her a text and see how she is doing. Maybe she will tell me more about her argument. Maybe she will talk to me about working in the kitchen. At this point, I just want contact with her.
Me: I got a form put in front of me today for you to have a position in the kitchens. Are you wanting a job little wolf?
Little Wolf: Yes. I talked with June, and she decided to try me out tonight since I have no work experience. Turns out I can make cinnamon
rolls!
That last message puts a big smile on my face. I can just picture her now, Happy, proud. Her teal eyes lit up bright, their only rival the moon.
Me: Well I have no doubt you can do anything you put your mind to. If you are really wanting a job, you can have one. It is not necessary at this moment of at all for you to stay here. If you start having a panic attack, I want notified right away. If it is too much, you pull back. Do you understand little wolf. Don’t push it.
Little Wolf: Yes, I understand.
Me: Good girl.
Little Wolf: If I reconnect to my wolf, can I choose not to shift?
The last message has me confused. Why would any shifter want to hide their other half. The desire to run would get out of control. You could go feral. 1
better do some education
1/2
I Do What I Want
Me: I wouldn’t force you to shift or be involved with pack activities until you are comfortable. Putting off not shifting entirely would be extremely difficult. Ignoring our other half could cause them to go feral. It would put you on
dee probably 24/7 until dealt with. The need to shift and run, expel energy that
Little Wolf: Is there anything else that I could do to expel energy?
Me: Oh, there are tons of inappropriate things you could do, but it wouldn’t cover the need for long. How about you tell me the reason you want to connect but NEVER shift. That part needs more explanation little wolf.
Little wolf: I just don’t want her to be feral after so long trapped within my mind. There are a lot of things that could go wrong.
Me: 1 will be there with you; Ronan can handle anything.
She doesn’t send me any more messages and I don’t want to show her how desperate I am for her attention. More drinking, more sulking. Mom used to have family dinner every Sunday, without fail. She made the best meatloaf. Ketchup glazed. Anyone that likes their meatloaf plain is untrustworthy. I will stand on that. Dad and I would go over pack issues. Constantly preparing me for my time. I would hang with my annoying little sister and threatened the lives of any boys she dared talk about or that Mom would tell me about. She would call me names and throw things at me. What I wouldn’t do to hear her voice call me alpha–wannabe or fake dad. My favorite was “stupid big old man–baby.” Usually, you would trip over roller skates or her and her friends bikes out front. Her room decorated with all things pink and girlie. Dad and I would go for a hunt, and I would come back to help mom clean up and pack up my to go boxes. Of course, I would need to pack Cyrus one too. Now, their house sets empty of them. Everything still in it the way they left it. Maybe I will go by. It has been six years since I went in there. I think I last went in to pick out my parents‘ clothes to put on them before burning them. Before that it was comforting mom while she picked out my sister’s clothes. She stopped doing family meals after that. Stopped doing really anything. I should have known.
Damn it. I am going to need more alcohol. I am about out and I am still feeling this pain. I rub my eyes, run my fingers through my hair and pace around my rooms. Yeah, I am drinking more.
