Chapter 212
I hadn’t expected Billy to be so candid. All this time, I thought he was happy staying at Betry apartment. The realization that he had been partenaire, to he brave just for my sake hit me like a punch in the gut.
I wanted to nigue, to remind him of all the reasons we’d left this place, but looking into those innocent eyes, the words died in my throat,
How could I explain to a five–year old child that his father had broken my heart beyond repair?
The truth crashed over me in waves. My son had been pretending to be happy, hiding his true feelings just to make my life easier.
All along, I’d tried so hard to keep Billy away from the chaos between Henry and me, to protect him from our adult problems. But hearing him admit he wasn’t happy at Betty’s made me question everything.
I took a deep breath, meeting his eyes with complete seriousness. “Billy, if you had to choose between living at Aunt Betty’s apartment or staying here with your father, what would you choose?”
Billy thought for a moment, avoiding my gaze. He reached out and twirled a strand of my hair around his tiny finger, a nervous habit he’d had since he was little.
“I still like living here better,” he whispered, so quietly I almost missed it.
As soon as the words left his mouth, he fell silent, clearly aware that his honest answer might hurt me. The tension radiating from his entire body made my heart break all over again.
I counted to three in my head, forcing myself to remain calm. Once was sure my voice wouldn’t betray my emotions, I spoke.
“Okay, you’ve told me how you really feel, and I’m not angry,” I assured him. “But I need to tell you something important: If you insist on living here, I won’t be able to stay with you every day. Your father is very busy and doesn’t have time to take care of you properly. If you’re certain you want to live here, you’ll need to learn to take care of yourself.”
Billy’s eyes widened with panic. He immediately threw his arms around my neck, clinging to me desperately.
“No! I want Mommy! I want to be with you!” he cried, his voice muffled against my shoulder.
Instead of softening at his display of affection, I gently created some distance us, holding his small face between my hands.
*Sweetheart, you can’t just use hugs to solve every problem,” I explained calmly. “You need to understand the reality of our situation. I don’t love your father anymore, which means we are destined to live apart. If you insist on staying here, I can’t live here with you. You would have to live with just your father.”
I nearly blurted out that Henry wasn’t his biological father, but I caught myself just in time.
That was a conversation for another day, when he was older and could better understand the complexity of our situation.
Billy’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “Why don’t you love Dad anymore? Didn’t you use to love him the most? I’ve seen you staring at his photos for ages. How can you not love him?”
At that moment, outside the door, Henry stood completely still.
He had risen early, his thoughts consumed by Sophia and unable to sleep. He’d come to check on Billy, his hand poised to knock when he overheard our conversation. Now, he remained frozen in place, desperate to hear Sophia’s answer.
I sighed, trying to find the right words to explain/such a complex emotion to a child.
“Sweetheart, love is… a two–way street. How should I explain this to you?” I paused, searching for the right analogy. “Let me put it this way–your beet friend at school is Emily, right?*
Billy’s eyes instantly lif up. “Yes! I like Emily the most. She’s always nice to me.”
“Good. You like Emily, and Emily likes you too. When you give her a candy one day, she gives you an apple the next day. You’re always sharing things you
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Chapter 212
like with each other. This is called mutual affection. Because you both like each other, you can be beaf friends, tant that right? –
Billy nodded enthusiastically. That was exactly how it worked with Emily!
Whenever someone was mean to her, he was the first to defend her. Similarly, if anyone said something bad about him, Emily would immediately a for him.
liked your father, but he didn’t like me. No matter how many candies I park
him, he never gave me an apple in return. Do you think that kind of
Seeing that he understood, I continued. “But your father and I
are should continue?”
Love requires mutual feelings. When only one person is giving, that’s not love
self–delusion. It’s nothing more than an authorized one–sided crush. What
I felt for Henry was entirely one–sided, a fantasy I’d created in my own mind. I’d never seen any real reciprocation from him. Our relationship was destined to fail from the start.
Billy fell silent, my question leaving him at a loss for words.
As much as he wanted his parents to be together, he wanted my happiness to live here after all.
If
being with his father made me unhappy, then maybe he didn’t need
Outside the door, Henry felt a sharp pain lance through his chest at Sophia’s words.
Billy had always wanted to bring his dad and mom back together. He’d even made a secret pact with his father: to try everything possible to make his mom stay at home.
But just now, after hearing his mother’s explanation, he didn’t feel that way anymore.
He even started to dislike his father a little.
His dad could have given Mom an apple, but he never did. How heartbroken she must have been!
When Emily gave him candy, he was so happy he couldn’t bear to eat it right away, insisting on
He gave apples and received Emily’s candy in return.
Mom gave out candy but got nothing back. This could only be Dad’s fault!
In this moment, Billy not only disliked his father but felt immense sympathy for his mother.
putting it in his pocket to take home.
Though he didn’t understand the complexities of adult relationships and love, he understood one simple truth: if Emily gave him candy and he never gave her an apple in return, she would be unhappy.
Billy sat up from Sophia’s embrace, wrapping his arms around her neck and planting a sweet kiss
on
her cheek.
‘If Dad doesn’t give you anything, then we won’t give him anything either!” he declared.
“Dad is so mean. I don’t like it here anymore. Let’s go back to Aunt Betty’s house.”
After learning how his father had hurt his mother, the little boy was no longer on Henry’s side.
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